


the nights he spent alone (with her ghost)

by mxdvsx



Category: The Folk of the Air - Holly Black
Genre: Angst, F/M, Feels, Pain, So much angst, Sorry Not Sorry, Yikes, hUE HUE, i made this and it hurt me, im so sorry, no really it was suppose to be nice but i love pain, not really - Freeform, ouchs, pain i tell you, post-TWK, self indulgent, so self indulgent, such a yikes, thats a big yikes for me dawg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-20
Updated: 2019-09-20
Packaged: 2020-10-24 15:41:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20708474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mxdvsx/pseuds/mxdvsx
Summary: must his love haunt him every night?





	the nights he spent alone (with her ghost)

**Author's Note:**

> you came here for a good time and i'm sure you're gonna feel so attacked after this.
> 
> no regrets.
> 
> totally.

there was a little girl in his arms, and king cardan greenbrair had never felt more vulnerable.

she was so so small, her mother, his women, his queen smiled (oh gods, she smiled) at him.

he gently cupped his daughter's face, “she is so small.”

jude laughed, which sent in heart spiralling into a neverending whirlwind (oh how he loved these rare moments when she laughed).

“she is but two weeks old, cardan, of course she is small.”

there were tiny tufts of dark hair (his hair) on her head, but when she turned to her father and gave him his lazy grin, cardan saw jude’s caramel eyes glittering back at him. he knew then, whether he was conscious of it or not, that this small demi-fae had him completely wrapped around her finger.

she is now two years old, and is blabbering a story about a cruel king and his cunning queen in her nursery, cardan listened along and added details, while jude sat on the couch, book in hand, rolling her eyes at every detail he added.

“papa?” his daughter laid down the crayon she used to draw the king and queen she was just talking about.

“yes?”

“did the king really love his queen?”

“why do you ask?”

“why did he send her away to the mortal land? if he loves her, shouldn’t he want her to be with him?”

cardan swore he saw jude freeze out of the corner of his eye.

“well, daughter, sometimes, when you love someone you want them as safe as possible, and his queen really wasn’t safe where she was at, and the king, who was quite a fool, thought that by sending her away, she would be safe.”

he picked her up and sat her on his lap, jude put down her book and sat down next to them, laying her head on his shoulders.

“and how much did the king love his queen?”

“a lot.”

the little girl spread her arms as wide as she could get them too, “this much?”

“even more.”

“and did the queen love him back?”

jude smiled at their daughter, “between the three of us, i think she loves him,” she turned to cardan and smiled, “very much.”

and then she was six, as clever as her mother, yet as carefree as her father. she would run around the castle, away from her parents, and somehow find the best place to hide from them, the girl was truly a beautiful, wild, messy combination of them both.

while they were running around the castle, looking for their daughter, jude turned to him with that look in her face he hasn’t seen in nine years, “this is what you could’ve had, cardan.”

“what?”

“you could’ve had all of this, your daughter, your queen, happiness, and yet you threw it all away,” she turned away from him, but he saw, just before she did, that she looked eighteen again. “i do not think the other me would be quite as forgiving as the me you have made up in your head.”

“jude, jude-”

*

back in the castle in elfhame, the king woke up, drenched in a pool of he sweat (he never sweats), arms reaching out for the queen that would never be there again. the name of his mortal queen on his lips tasted as bitter as his heart.

**Author's Note:**

> kill me !!!  
edit 3/7/20: im sad and sleep-deprived (by Panic! At the Disco)


End file.
